Brand names you might not have heard of

One of the hardest things has been finding brand names we can trust here. Most US products are available, but it's quite fun to try a little something new. Here are some brands that sounded funny to us, with a review if we've tried them.

Actually makes more sense than "Gatorade," and it's delicious.

Neither French nor bologna, one brand advertises itself as "pork free." We imagine it's just shredded newspaper held together with pink slime, so we've never had it.

This "good source of energy" is hydrogenated vegetable fat - i.e., Crisco. Yes, it's a good source of energy for your biodiesel car. We use it to grease our potjie pot and our paella pan.

We've got to try this sometime. We hope "steri" is short for "sterile"

How do you make crack more appealing? Add salt. 

We'll try when we can afford a tv. And a TV license.

We realize Cheerios and Oatios and various other Os are taken, but the ad-wizards at Spar really scraped the bottom of the barrel for this one. PS There are no squirrels in Johannesburg, except on this box.

We repeat: Smoooooooooooooooooooth. And also beefy.

Oedipal deodorant. 

It is kind of funny and kind of sad that: 1., you can buy workwear for your "help" at the grocery store; 2. that the brand name is "Ethnix"; and 3. that XXXL is the equivalent of MEDIUM (smallest size is XL)

"Fierce" names are common in cleaners and bug killers here.

Is "kills fleas" even necessary?

Etymology lesson of the day: the latin root "Mort" means death.

Let's randomly choose a three letter name for our product from all the letters of the alphabet...
ABDCEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

This stuff smells great, but is oh so easy to make puns from.

Maybe those who wear Ethnix would prefer this brand.

Butch beef?

This is literally only a small section of the chutney aisle.

Our brand (and all of South Africa's brand) is Mrs. H. S. Balls. Delicious. 

How many times do they need to tell you it's "meal"? (Mealies is corn)

UPDATE:

We missed a few...

They look like Cheetos and smell like Cheetos but brother, they ain't Cheetos.

Keep the kiddies away from this one

 <--Brothers from another mother-->